When my husband and I first began dating, he lived in a house next door to his mother and stepfather's house. I had known him for over a decade by the time we began dating, actually become quite close friends within the last year or so leading up to us "getting together." A week or so into the relationship, it was time to finally emerge from the sexscapades and go to work. As we're both creeping out of the front door and to our cars, I can hear cackling laughter from the yard next door. I freeze, look at now Husband, and whisper something about how I'm not ready to meet her after banging her baby boy's brains out all week. Unfortunately, before he could head her off, I hear her squealing...
"DO I FINALLY GET TO MEET HER?! ARE YPU FINALLY COMING OUT OF THE HOUSE?! OH JUST LOOK AT HER ISN'T SHE CUTE!!!"
Meanwhile, I'm still frozen in my spot. Awkward grin plastered on my face. Husband is making introductions as she isn't alone. Her best friend is with her. I'm mumbling through the pleasantries, internally worrying about being late to work that is 45ish minutes from his house.
Then she says it. Without hesitation. With all the seriousness one could imagine. Less than thirty seconds after meeting her.
"Now when do I get grandbaaaaaaabies?!"
It's been three and a half years. We've been married for seven months and had to deal with our fair share of BS slung from her, but for the life of me I have no idea what happened after that. It's like I blacked out. The next thing I knew, I was being led to the car by an apologizing future Husband. I was in shock. I had gone from past mother's of significant others LOATHING MY EXISTENCE to this batty woman wanting the 411 on my uterus. Yeah, I was in shock
It's been three and a half years, and she's still waiting for grandbaaaaaaaaabies too.