What's the craziest black out drunk experience you've ever been told you've done?

My best friend who was living in the US (I live in Canada) came back to Canada for his summer break, so needless to say I wanted to go out and have a good time with my buddy. We start off with day beers at a roof top patio and begin slamming back a few beers. After the patio, the night begins and I am starting to feel the alcohol course through my system. We end up going to a bar and begin slamming more beers/shots, meanwhile more of my friends come out to the bar. At this time I am 8/10 blacked out, and have the communication skills of a 7 year old. I ended up projectile vomiting on one of my friends. I then proceeded to go up to a girl grabbed her ass and politely asked "you want some of this fuck?" to which I am sure the girl declined. I then end up leaving the bar, and find some older women on the street who apparently offered me a ride home. In my drunken stupor, i agree. End up going to this mature ladies house. Upon arrival I notice many cars parked outside and the lights still on. There was a party at her house, to which she said that her kids were having a party. Enter the house to have a couple more drinks and find the lovely lady who took me home. I ended up hooking up with the older women. I woke up the next morning with a huge hangover on my face and somehow ended up sleeping on the couch. The older woman's kids end up calling me a taxi. When I go to meet the taxi driver, he starts laughing. I am puzzled until I look into the mirror... I see that I had cock and balls, as well as a helter skelter, drawn with permanent marker all over my face. Damn kids got me good, but I think I had the last laugh; his mom still texts me till this day...

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