I lifeguarded at a waterpark one summer in high school and I saw lots of bloody noses and stuff but nothing too fucked up. For anyone curious, the best weed is always at the water parks. 40 year old lifeguards pretty much always sell and we never got drug tested because management was a bunch of high functioning drug addicts.

I was at the top of one of the waterslides (why they needed a lifeguard up there is still beyond me. They had slide attendants but they always put a lifeguard up there too). It was the shittiest rotation because you just had to awkwardly stand there while the slide attendants did their thing. There wasn't really anywhere for someone to drown up there so you didn't have anything to watch and you had to be careful where you were staring because of women in swimsuits and their aggressive boyfriends and whatnot.

So anyways, I'm up there. I had just gotten off my break so I was pretty stoned. The line's really long and everybody irritated because we just had to shut down the park for an hour because of lightning and we had just opened back up. So theres a girl who's probably 12 with her dad and then right behind them some tatted up fat ass with his equally disgusting girlfriend. So they're on the final steps before you got to the slide platform. As the fat guy is stepping up onto the slide platform, his hand brushed the 12 year olds ass, her dad saw it and lost his shit. So the two start fighting. Like legitimately fist fighting. The girl is crying her eyes out and the girlfriend is screaming at them. The slide attendant takes a step backwards to get out of their way and he steps onto the slide, slips, and disappears into the slide tunnel. The girlfriend starts screaming at me to do something and I'm like what the fuck do you want me to do. Her boyfriend was probably 280 pounds and the dad was probably 220-230 pounds of muscle. I'm not a big guy. I'm cut but not big. 140-145 at the most. So I just started screaming into my radio for security. Now I knew it would probably take security 5 minutes to get there and these guys werent about to stop fighting any time soon and I'm pressed up between them and the railing so I started blowing my whistle. 2 big ass ex marine type guys run up and separate them and hold them there until security got there to take them down.

So I got chewed out for not doing anything to stop them and had to spend the rest of the day filling out paperwork, the slide attendant busted his nose, the two guys who broke up the fight got season's passes for their families, and the two guys fighting, the girlfriend, and the daughter got banned from the park for life.