Helped destroy several small towns and villages while also reviewing the initial damage was sufficient or if further destruction was required. Related, also personally consulted senior officer on bomb placement to destroy an airstrip.
I know exactly what the remains of Casey Anthony's child smells like.
I was nearly body checked by Mark McGrath (of Sugar Ray) in front of thousands of people.
I participated in a pagan ritual in an military chapel.
Got a contact buzz from a bunch of cops huffing a blunt.
Stole a car from a house, because the cops asked me to. (different cops)
Passed a cop on the highway doing a 110 mph and waved at him. He waved back. (again, different cop)
Made a coworker vomit by convincing him I was going to eat human brain matter.
Drove by a group of 6-8 cops in a stolen car with two flat tires. (didn't wave)
Nearly got thrown off a 6th floor balcony while tripping on acid because they guy thought I was plotting to steal his surfboard.
Stole weed from cops and got high with it behind the Circle K with my buddies.
Saw and photographed the F-117 Stealth Fighter before it was officially revealed at the Paris Air Show.
Funded a small time drug dealing operation by working as a professional juggler.
Once had to complete a work related task within ten feet of a dead body. Found out his name and last words because he died shortly before I arrived.
Pissed off a couple of cops in a canoe because I dropped a car in the swamp.
*Got trapped on a dock by three giant raccoons for several hours. (this may or may not have happened as I was tripping on acid at the time).