I once witnessed an epic drug freakout that ended in a dude walking naked into a major super market and masturbating with a twinkie. Everyone that I know still refers to it as either "the Davis incident" or "the night of Davis".
I was 19 years old, so this was half a lifetime ago. The year was 1999. I had freshly dropped out of college. Was living on my own in a medium sized city for the first time, and living the party lifestyle. Nowadays I'm 100% sober, and exercise and meditate regularly, which makes the whole incident even funnier looking back.
My roommates and I decided to throw a rager for the holidays. Bought a sheet of acid. Half ounce of coke. Couple of ounces of chronic on hand, plus enough booze to kill a horse.
Invited all of our friends. Not a huge party, but probably had 25 people there at it's peak.
There was this one acquaintance of ours that showed up. He was just... "that guy". His name was Davis. Not going to say if that was first or last name or any other info to protect his privacy, but the that part of the name is pertinent just because the "Davis Incident" became a local legend.
He was still in college. Knew him from high school. He had always been a little odd. Something off about him. I've got other stories about this dude that I could post here, but I'll save them for another time.
So it's like midnight, and most of us were either tripping balls, coked and liquored up, or both (I was doing both). Music blasting (we lived a little ways outside of town), people mingling and dancing, playing cards, a few dudes down in the basement noodling on their guitars. Including Davis.
I was in the kitchen playing cards. Suddenly Davis comes up from the basement, and he's got his shirt off. No biggie. He starts talking to all of us in the room and just spouting non-sense. Again, no biggie. He wasn't the only one who was a little incoherent at that point.
I had already watched him take 2 hits of acid, and we done some coke together earlier in the night. At that point, he walked across the kitchen to where the lines of coke were and just started railing like a Hoover. He grabbed some whiskey and went down to the basement.
A few minutes later, we hear things in the basement being thrown around. Things being smashed. Everyone except for Davis slowly starts wandering upstairs, looking a little weirded out.
Davis makes another appearance back upstairs. This time he's got his pants off, wearing nothing but his underwear and a guitar.
Total wild-eyed look in his eyes. He goes to grab some more coke, and I intervene, and ask if maybe he's had enough. He just shrugs, says some gibberish, and goes back to the basement.
30 minutes go by.
Davis bursts back into the kitchen from the basement, completely naked. We're all laughing our asses off.
He walks, naked, into the living room where the party is still raging. Starts in on just some epically crazy shit. Shoving his balls in girls faces. Asking dudes to lick his butthole. Throwing furniture around. Talking about the end of the world and aliens and crazy paranoid delusions conspiracy theories.
People are getting their coats on and leaving.
Davis is still raging, and we're afraid that he's going to hurt himself or someone else. At one point, he runs out into street, heading god knows where. We managed to coax him back inside.
Turn our backs for a minute, and he's hanging out the window (2nd story) and shouting gibberish at the night.
The 3 of us who lived there are looking at each other through our drug addled haze, and just being like "Fuck, we've gotta do something or the cops are going to get called and we're all going to jail".
We try talking to Davis. Try reasoning with him. Tell him that it's cool that he's feeling the drugs and everything, but he's got to calm down or things are going to get ugly.
He doesn't care. He asks the 3 of us if we want to have an orgy with him right then and there.
The 3 of us walk away to confer. One of the dudes suggested tying him up, but the other 2 of us thought he might hurt himself somehow if we did that.
He's like a lunatic, just running around the house, smashing shit, saying the craziest sexual things to people. Freaking everyone the hell out.
The one roommate who was only drinking and smoking weed, so was sober compared to the rest of us, tried to level with him "Look Davis, this is your last chance. Calm down or you've gotta get the fuck out of here. We'll call your parents if we have to". He just looks at us and says, with sudden lucidity, something to the effec tof "YES! I want to get out of here. I want to take my message of love to the people of this world. Will you guys give me a ride to Walmart?"
We try to reason with him. Tell him that that's about the worst idea we've ever heard. But he's still acting like a lunatic, scaring people, and is now dead set on getting to Walmart.
We confer, and decide to take him there.
We ask if wants to get dressed first. He refuses. Throws on his glasses and his backpack.
The 3 of us roommates pile into the car, with Davis in the back. I was riding shotgun.
The whole way there, he's trying to sexually molest the roommate riding in the back with him. That, and threatening to open the door and get out as we're riding down the highway. The roommate basically holds him down to prevent any nonsense.
At one point, a cop was behind us. We all just about had a panic attack. Luckily the cop didn't realize what was going down, and turned after a mile or so.
We pull into Walmart. Davis opens the door. Back seat roommate basically pushes him out the door. Davis turns around for a second, like he's having a sudden moment of lucidity, and looks at us for a second. Then back seat roommate says fuck him dude, gun it!
We peel out.
Watching out the rear window, we see Davis (still naked, wearing nothing but a backpack and glasses), ranting and raving at people in the parking lot. Gesticulating wildly with his hands, and grabbing his dick and making gestures with it.
We pull around the parking lot and come back around by the store to see what's going to happen. We watch him walk in. There was an employee near the entrance, and they just backed away, then presumably called security.
We got the hell out of there. Sped home. Flushed all of the remaining drugs down the toilet (well, except for the weed. We were raging potheads and that would have been going too far. Buried the weed in the back yard).
We were convinced that the cops were going to show up and raid us at any moment.
Nothing happened. No calls. No sirens. The drugs and the adrenaline finally wore off around 5am and we went to sleep.
Spent the next day looking at each other like "Fuck, did that really happen?"
Waiting for Davis to call. This was the era before cell phones. We were afraid that he was dead or something.
A few days go by and we hear from him. He's super apologetic. Tells us that he walked into Walmart, and the cops tackled him while he was masturbating with a twinkie. He resisted and got tased.
Spent the night in a holding cell. His parents bailed him out.
He plead down and luckily avoiding having to register as a sex offender.
He was never the same after that. He dropped out of college. Moved back in with his parents. To this day, he's a recluse. Still lives with his parents. Works menial jobs. I've run into him a few times, and he seems highly medicated. I think the drugs brought out some latent schizophrenia that he's probably dealt with ever since.
Word of the incident spread. I was at a party months later and heard some random girl telling a version of the story that was even more crazy than what really happened. And we live in a town of about a million people. It seemed like EVERYONE knew the story.
Word spread like wildfire at the high school that we had all attended. My sister was still a Junior there. Except it was like a version of the telephone game. My sister told me that the tale raging through the school was that I had been at a party with a Hollywood actor who had had a drug freakout and died.
To this day, I meet new people in this town, and it turns out that they've heard the story. It took on a life of it's own.
My friends and I are now pushing 40, and almost every time we get together, the "Night of Davis" is brought up. In the years since then, I've started a business, traveled extensively, live abroad, had kids etc. And that night is still one of the craziest experiences I've ever had.