A lady friend and I who were "seeing each other" in an adolescent high school sense (I was a sophomore, she was a Junior) decided one fine afternoon that we would part, get all gussied, and meet again at the local movie theatre to see some big movie that was out at the time. I did my best to arrive early with all the normal sweet nothings, a rose, a tie, and a smile. She arrived thirty minutes late (for the start time, not our agreed meeting time, about an hour past that). She got out of a well-known senior's jacked up Chevy Douchemobile. She got out smelling of alcohol and other pleasantries, wobbling and so forth, yelled "hey babe! Let's go watch blank" (again, don't remember the title). So I, a naive and lovesick guy, just kind of said "meh" and we walked in. Throughout the entire showing she was yelling profanities and just being a solid disruption. Somehow I power through the ordeal and calmed her to a satisfactory level just so as to avoid being kicked out. As the showing concluded I basically wanted none more of the evening than to say our goodbyes and head home to sit in sweet silence, a now welcomed substitute for her company. But she wasn't having it, she was feisty and adamant about getting dinner, until she wasn't, about midway through a sentence she covered her mouth with her hand and said "shit", and I sighed as I knew what was coming next, she near sprinted to the nearest bathroom, and I followed her to the door, where I must've been within the acoustic sweet-spot because I heard all of her drunken retching. I wanted to leave with her in there, I won't lie, but being a stubborn gentleman I waited. Upon her return she was thoroughly into the idea of just calling it a night, so, I saw her back to her douchey ride, doing nothing so surprising as sitting amid a gathering of similarly jacked trucks in a parking lot. We said goodbye and she began to hobble toward the gathering, got about ten feet away, turned around and said "call me".

I did not.