I once broke my elbow on the way to a house party by falling off a bike. Initially I thought I was just a bit of bruise but I got there and was like 'fuck this hurts more than it should and I can't move it and I'm dizzy'. I went as far to assume it was a sprain and tried running it under cold water but it doesn't work so good on bone injuries. Still I partied on. Took my belt off and made a rudimentary sling.

It got to very late in the night, I hadn't drank so much out of fear of again hurting my self and doing real damage. There was 6 warriors of the night left. 4 girls, me and my friend who was hosting.

Playing strip poker, one of the girls who I was very friendly with but hadn't gone beyond that was insistent on helping me strip in my time of need. Her friends where egging her on in a way that made me believe this had been preconceived. And my one conscious friend was looking at me with a shiteating grin as to say 'I made this happen for you aren't I awesome'.

But I wasn't in to it. I was there for the ride and the fact nobody could take me home until morning. I was in no state to peddle my bicycle back in the dark and sleeping seemed like a poor decision at the time. Still she persisted, and in trying to get off my shirt caused me to shout in a great deal of pain.

While half laughing and half apologising she managed to find some drunken mastery of sexual persuasion and dragged me off to the bedroom.

But despite the pain, the tiredness, the slight drunkeness and slowly developing hangover I still pulled it together long enough to put on a decent enough performance. The girl fell asleep, I picked up all the unopened beer not in the fridge (some people claim house keeps the spares but I say last man standing should take home the prize) and got a taxi out of there.