I had a pretty rough breakup with an emotionally abusive partner which got me on all sorts of self medication cycles and eventually my doctor/psychologist diagnosed me with major depressive/anxiety disorder.. I had to take 2 strong antidepressants just to make it though the day.. I’ve only just come off all medications (on doctors advice) three years since the breakup..

I realised my best friend (who was studying psychology) wasn’t really my best friend when he sided with my Ex in telling me that I just needed to stop complaining and snap myself out of my depression (duh I’ll just do that/s). He said and did things to make out like I was over reacting (to a 6 year relationship ending) and that my depression and anxiety was just attention seeking.

Once things settled a bit and I moved on a little, I, along with mutual friends, tried to organise stuff with him but he kept flaking. About one year on I was on a date and happened to see my Ex in a shop, I avoided him but it was still pretty uncomfortable. I then saw my friend and his partner on the street nearby, about 2 blocks away from my Ex which I chocked up to be a coincidence. I asked him about it casually and he flatly denied it, claiming they don’t have contact with my ex anymore. About 2 weeks later a mutual friend showed me his Facebook view of my friend and it had heaps of photos and checkins with my Ex, including one from the day I saw them both ‘separately’. So, not only did he lie about staying in contact with my ex, he also locked me out of 99% of his social media posts to cover up.

He eventually invited me to a birthday dinner thing but I noticed my ex was on the invite list.. I expressed my discomfort at attending and his response was something like “mate, I’m sick of dealing with you and your issues with your ex, we’re all adults and you need to move on” .. he still maintained his position after I reiterated that my ex emotionally abused me and his parents also gaslighted the f*** out of me on top of their own brand of emotional and physical abuse (one time his mum also drunkenly physically abused me). I now know after many psych sessions just how systemically they messed me up, compounded by my Ex pretending nothing was wrong and that I was at fault.

Any way he still pops up every now and then and claims I was right about my ex (I’m guessing my ex fucked him over too). But the damage is done, now I would never really trust him with anything more than holding a casual conversation. It’s funny when I think about how close we were and how it’s like a switch clicked in my head and now he’s just a sometimes acquaintance

TL;DR:

Bestie sided with my abusive ex partner and gaslighted/shamed me about my diagnosed major depression/anxiety until I caught him out being chummy with my ex and now only barely tolerate him as an acquaintance.

Hope I got this all in order, first real reddit post and this involves some pretty personally traumatic stuff.