Who could see your "Kill all Men" posts.

Here we go. I'm sorry if I miss out details. Most of these days are spent trying to push out what I remember, but I want to recount the story as accurately as possible. I feel like I need to do this for myself too. (longpost incoming sorry)

Let's call her Daniella, or Dani for short.. I loved Dani a lot, and I loved her for a very long time. Not even that far back, around 2 months ago, she broke up with me. It was because of our conflicting opinions about the Ferguson thingo. I can't really remember my stance was now, but she was so distressed that other people, especially me, didn't share her ideology about the racism in the incident. Additionally, she felt like she couldn't "see you as a person any more, what with you denying people of human fucking rights." The breakup itself wasn't that surprising to me, honestly. The more I saw of her "other" side, the less surprising it was to find out she would get rid of me over something like this.

I'm re-reading our previous messages. It's hard. http://pastebin.com/5nrQab2r

I felt like I took the breakup pretty well at the time, I think it was because I just realized that the person I loved was only showing me one side of them. After that realization, she was a different person, a foreign one. I was just very apathetic for some reason.

After the breakup, I quickly started dating another girl, let's call her Jenna. My relationship with Jenna is extremely complicated in the short timeline we've been acquainted (3 yrs). One thing to remember is that Jenna is not mentally stable, she has been diagnosed with clinical depression. I've loved Jenna for over two years. I've acted on this once, and apparently she loved me back, but she never really told me until recently. Soon after, she started to hate me due to something I said about her that she overheard. I can't remember what she said, but I regret everything about it. After an extended period of time, I messaged her. It was horrifically awkward, but I still loved her, and I'm not sure why. I dated two different girls over this period of loving Jenna.

Isn't that fucked up?

I used to justify it by telling myself that you can't choose who you love, and that I had the self control to commit myself to a relationship without thinking of Jenna. And it worked, for the majority of the time. But we got back in touch and it was harder now.

So two weeks after I broke up with Daniella, I just, gave in to Jenna. A second time, now. And she told me this time.

More coming. Editing.

/r/TumblrInAction Thread Link - i.imgur.com