My roommates and I all went out for drinks one night and I came back a little early to get some sleep. At some point my friends came back and I woke up to one of them rolling around in my bed. He was pretty hammered that night so I shoved him a few times and told him to go to his own bed. He just grumbled and went back to sleep. I was frustrated but not in the mood to deal with it so I tried to go back to sleep. However, about 10 minutes later, he proceeded to start making all kinds of VERY strange noises - perhaps comparable to a trapped and dying animal. At this point I got pissed and pushed him out of the bed and told him to go to bed upstairs in his room. When he stood up, he was about 5" taller than the friend I assumed him to be and shirtless. I immediately blurted out "who the fuck are you," to which he somberly replied "Kyle" and then began to shuffle into another room. Shocked and still a bit buzzed, I continued to lay there completely still. It occurred to me that my friends did run into some college buddies at the bar, so I thought it must be one of them and went back to sleep. I woke up around 9 a.m. and went to get out of my bed but quickly found Kyle squirming around on the ground beside my bed, grunting and speaking gibberish, holding a tangled phone charger to his bare chest with both hands. I told him to shut up, and he did, but only after he stood up and clumsily knocked a bunch of stuff over in an effort to plug in his phone. At this point my only thought was "holy shit, this guy sucks," so I went back to sleep for a few hours but awoke to the sound of Kyle once more, but this time he was yelping a very disturbing "help". Wide awake and honestly pretty freaked out out at this point, I told him he should leave. He just mumbled "on the way" and suddenly got completely still. After he left I went into my friend's room to tell him that his friend is a douche, but was told that no one came home with them last night. Apparently this college bro, Kyle, who they found laying on a stone wall downtown, followed them into our apartment, got into my bed, slept for a few hours, then rolled around on our floor until he got picked up around noon. Not a great house guest.