I don't understand the downvoting here. This post was really helpful to me. Thank you for writing such a genuine piece.
Idk if OP is still with us, but for OP, myself and others I just want to add my two cents as someone who is currently feeling depressed and has battled with it off and on (as well as recently battling social anxiety). What many people are saying here is true...and people here are speaking from experience so please take it to heart.
Several years ago I was living with a girlfriend of about 1.5 years. All within 1-2 months of time, I was laid off of my first job out of college and had my gf break up with me. I was unemployed, with $75k of debt and had to move in with a friend. I really felt like shit and was depressed for months. I'm not going to lie...change didn't happen over night. I found another job and hated it...quit within 3 months. I found another job...AND...I stayed there for 4 years and honestly enjoyed most of my time there. I left to pursue another opportunity. In the years that passed I met other women and realized what a piece of shit the girl was that I was dating. I really couldn't see it back then. It was such a blessing that she had the balls to break up with me. I knew we had some issues but I was too weak to end it.
Breaking up is never fun and I know things are easy to say but not always easy to accept...but you guys broke up for a reason. It takes two to tango and even though you were into her, you deserve someone who is into you as well! Breaking up is really hard for the ego to accept but as you grow older and gain more experience you will realize that people are just "different". Your girlfriend may have broken up with you but TRUST ME, that does not mean she is better than you!
Fast forward my life ~5 years and I've been in a stable relationship for 3+ years, I'm completely debt free with a net worth of ~$75k and I live in a good part of the most expensive city in the U.S. ...and guess who has tried to get me to grab drinks with her in the past year or two? That's right, the aforementioned succubus. I can only speculate what's running through her head, but I was happy to blow her off. I apologize if this sounds like bragging, I'm just trying to illustrate a point. I don't think I ever could have envisioned where I would be in 5 years from those dark days.
So, here's the part where I tell you how happy and joyous everything is, right? Well, not exactly. I'm in kind of a rut right now, but I really did have a good run for a while and I'm trying to be hopeful that I can pull myself up and out again. You know, studies have shown that as people age they become better at handling their emotions and therefore tend to become happier. I'm experimenting with medications (mostly for SAD, but this depressive state just sort of hit me hard the past week for some reason).
There are so many resources out there. I feel you man, I really do. I tend to get very depressed after heavy drinking and when I'm in that state I feel like it will never go away, but sure enough, a few days later it's like the clouds clear. Even when you rationally know better it can be hard to believe it. Anyway, try some of the free counseling (I admittedly, have not). Try joining a gym. Download a torrent of Tony Robbins and see if he can pump some zest into you. Stay busy. Try to lose yourself in something. Maybe take up a job with very little responsibility (or an extra job) just to get out of the house, stay active, and socialize. I'm a corporate drone these days and it's very soul-crushing...There's also God/religion. I am getting close to turning to a higher power, myself.
There's so much I could write. As many have offered, anyone can feel free to PM me. There is a lot of understanding in this subreddit, which can be difficult to find in the real world.