Dumbledore stared at Harry's young, supple face; it seemed as if the scar on forehead called out to him, longing to be nuzzled, to be kissed softly. "Harry. Times such as these call for desperate measures, and you may find the method of dealing with this horcrux to be exceptionally strange. Bear with me, Harry; Riddle ensured that the horcruxes could not easily be destroyed." Harry nodded.
"Yes, you've said that much. What horcrux did you find, and how are we doing to destroy it? And why are all the portraits covered up..."
"Nevermind the portraits..." said Dumbledore, waving his hand. "That will all be explained, in time. The task at hand, however, is much too important." He could tell in Harry's eyes that he had Harry's complete trust. No doubt Harry viewed Dumbledore has his mentor, as a father figure that he never had. In truth, he was none of these; Dumbledore was little more than a common pedophile. A smile formed behind his beard; Harry was so innocent and so easy to manipulate. Dumbledore held up an old broom.
"Oh, was that Voldemort's first broom?" guessed Harry. Dumbledore smiled again. Harry's desire to impress him was so sweet.
"Oh, uh, yes, Harry. That's... that's exactly what it is." he said to Harry. "However, it's also been heavily enchanted. There is only one way to break the enchantment. And Harry, even if I protest in pain, even if I tell you to stop, you must keep going. Do you understand that, Harry?" Harry nodded. What a sweetheart. "Do not be shocked at what must be done, Harry. As you know, Voldemort wanted to protect his horcruxes greatly--the necessary measures to destroy the horcrux are shocking and extreme. You must persevere, Harry, and you must not hold back, no matter what I tell you. Do you still understand, Harry?"
"What exactly do we need to do, then?" Dumbledore handed him the broom, turned around, dropped the trousers he was wearing underneath his robe, lifting his robe to reveal his aged backside. "Wha-What...?" stuttered Harry, shocked at seeing his headmaster's rear end. Dumbledore bent over onto his desk, revealing the puckering entrance to his anus.
"Insert the handle of the broom, Harry." Dumbledore ordered, ignoring Harry's obvious confusion. Dumbledore felt the the handle prod his sphincter, but it did not break.
"Dumbledore, sir, it's... it's not going in."
Dumbledore sighed in frustration. Harry had done this numerous times before, but each time was the same--he never learned the correct amount of force to apply to break into the anal cavity. He could never remember--a well-placed Obliviate charm ensured that Harry would never reveal his secret. "Harry. Use your wand and shout "Ringus Enlargus", and imagine my...ring...widening.
"Ringus enlargus!" shouted Harry, pointing his wand straight at Dumbledore's butthole.
"No, no, Harry, you need to stick in the end of the wand first, it's not as thick as the broomstick and should easily slide in." Dumbledore sighed softly as he felt the tip of the wand enter inside him.
"RINGUS ENLARGUS!" Dumbledore gasped for air. This was one of his favorite parts, the initial stretching was intensely arousing, intensely magical.
"Dumbledore... I can, I can see inside!" exclaimed Harry. Dumbledore, bent over his desk, smiled: Harry always said the exact same thing, each time.
"Now, Harry, insert the broom." After a moment of silence passed, Dumbledore felt the broom enter his anal cavity. He knew that Harry would be too cautious, not wishing to hurt him. "Harry, you must go in deep, and then pull in and out, like a piston. If I howl in pain, if I protest, you must not stop, Harry."
Harry began to pull and push the broom more vigorously as he got familiar with the motions. Dumbledore gasped slightly, occasionally whispering a few words of pleasure, sometimes with a hint of a lisp. "Yes... oh god, Harry, faster, or the spell will never be broken. Deeper, too, Harry, if you would?"
Harry pushed the broomstick in as deep as Dumbledore's bowels allowed, he could feel the end pressing against his large intestine and pushing back a developing turd. "Oh god, Harry... god, oh, stop, stop, stop..." Harry, however, was a trooper; he did not stop as instructed.
Suddenly, Dumbledore's eyes widened. His erect penis was on the verge; he could not maintain this much longer. "Harry, you've done fine..." he said, out of breath from the excitement, "However, there is one more thing you must do."
"What is it?" inquired Harry.
"Take this miniature blast-ended skrewt... take it, and, and, stick it into my gaping anus." Harry gasped. "Do it, Harry. And then do what you did before, with your wand, but this time, shout 'RINGUS CLOSUS'." Harry, naturally, did as instructed.
"RINGUS CLOSUS!" Shouted Harry. Dumbledore screamed; his penis exploded, semen being squirted all over his desk and even onto Fawkes. Fawkes squawked, but it went unnoticed.
Dumbledore was breathing heavily. He put his trousers back on, and adjusted his robe, and then mumbled a few incantations to clean up the mess, storing the stray semen into a film canister. He smiled at Harry. "Wait a minute... that was no horcrux!" protested Harry, in shock.
Dumbledore smiled even wider, and pointed his wand at Harry. "OBLIVIATE!"