I broke up with my ex not this past January, but January of last year. It was kind of bad. I broke his heart. Not in a malicious way. But, I realized that I was not in love with him. We had been dating on and off again for the previous three years but in total of being in a committed relationship, I would say it's close to a year and a half. Each time we broke up, we never dated anyone else in between. In fact, we hung out in groups together and spent some time with each other still. We both had some growing up to do in both maturity and emotionally. We would take some time, try to work on what hurt us last time, then go back to being committed. Back then I didn't think we were doomed for failure, we just both knew that we needed some shoves in the right direction if we were going to work out long term.
Like everyone who breaks up with someone and then gets back together, we didn't work out.
When we broke up for the last time, I was solid after about 6 months. I had a great roommate who is like a sister to me and she helped me through it. I went on having only a few dates for the next 3-4 months...until I found out my other bestfriend (not my roommate) had been dating my ex for about a month and a half. Needless to say, she is no longer a friend of mine. (For the purpose of this story, I will continue to call her my bestfriend)
Apparently they had been speaking for awhile after we broke up. She was helping him get over me. I was none the wiser. They started out as friends until they decided that they had grown into something more and needed to be together as a couple. She ended up telling me in the middle of my last semester at University. No, there wasn't a large amount of drama. No yelling, or cursing, or causing a scene. But it tore open an emotional wound that to this day causes me some heartache.
I felt and still feel emotionally betrayed not only by my bestfriend, but my ex as well. My bestfriend had helped me with that relationship for the better part of two+ years. She was one that I leaned heavily on and asked her opinion on many of our problems. Part of me wonders if at the time she was trying to lead me down a path that would cause us to break up. To be honest, she is the kind of person who would do that. But I don't know if that is me being vile.
To answer the original question, how long did it take me to get over my break up? In the beginning only 6 months. Having found out about my bestfriend and ex dating...I am still not over it. That was 5 months ago. I might be able to forgive, but it is certainly not something I am like to forget.
I have gone on a few dates since then, but they were nothing past dinner and some good conversation. I now have trust issues from it and can't help but think, "Am I going to break his heart and then he'll go after another one of my friends?" The likely hood of it happening twice I'm sure is slim. Nonetheless, I am not over it.