Every story I hear about prescription drugs is generally negative and I think that sucks. I suspect there's a wealth of people running around too busy enjoying their newfound lives that they don't think of coming to the internet to shout it from the rooftops. Nobody wants that stigma of having had to take something anyway, unless they're desperately unhappy and feel like they've got nothing to lose. The rest of us generally hide it.

But I have three stories to tell. My closest family member is on SSRIs and I have seen such big positive changes in his life over the past year that he inspired me to get some help. He was very depressed and had a lot of anxiety, it used to send him into these rages over every little thing followed by days of deep depression where he could barely function. Now that almost never happens, hes able to control his emotions and cope with negative feelings much better than before. He's also got tons more motivation to do things and says he see's a future for himself for the first time in a long time. So yeah, big success there, and he's only getting better over time.

For me, I have severe anxiety, and some depression. I am in the process of figuring out my prescriptions because I haven't yet gotten total relief for my anxiety. I've had it since I was a child so I'm not expecting it all to go away overnight. I will say that citolapram has completely wiped out my panic attacks though. After two days of taking it, boom, no more panic. I was surprised as fuck, to say the least. Now I'm trying a few other drugs to see if I can't quell my general anxiety, and although I've experienced some annoying but not dire side effects with those, I'm optimistic.

My therapist used to have anxiety like mine. We just happened to share a lot of the same... rituals. She also told me that after a couple years of intensive therapy and some medication she is now completely drug free. I was and still am floored by that. I honestly don't care if I do have to be on drugs for the rest of my life, though. After having gone through all this bullshit, suffering quietly the whole of my life, I don't blame myself for my brain chemistry. I feel like a diabetic who needs insulin, and that sucks but it's not my fault. I am still wary of judgement from other people but I don't judge myself, if that makes sense. More than one person in my family has had mental illness and I've realized that none of us chose our genes. Therapy helps me cope, and I hope that one day I won't need drugs, but if that's not the case then I just want to prioritize being happy.