The line looked miles long. Norm heaved a heavy sigh and looked up at the series of signs which loomed over the queue.

"FOR FASTER SERVICE, CONSIDER USING OUR HOTLINE OR OUR APP!"

Looking down with a hint of desperation at his smartphone, he noted that there was no signal. Of course Hell would have Sprint...

He began the long plod towards the back of the line. More signs and billboards could be seen across the flame-filled chasms, welcoming Norm to the Sixth Circle. His Dante was a little rusty, but he was pretty sure that he'd always spoken respectfully about religion. It had to be a mistake, and Norm knew that he didn't belong here. Surely mistakes got made occasionally, what with all the people dying every day, right?

The end of the line was close. Norm could hear people in line complaining to one another -

"I'm telling you, it's a shame! McDonald's three times a day for fifteen years - that's gluttony, not heresy."

"Uh.... I think that's TED BUNDY over there. He's a murderer! He belongs in the Ninth Circle for sure."

A well-dressed woman tapped her foot and checked her phone every five seconds. Her expression was the very picture of righteous anger. Every so often, she would roll her eyes and groan. Norm took his place behind her and she immediately rounded on him.

"How long is the line? They ought to have some demons out here taking people's information ahead of time! I've been here thirty minutes already and haven't moved a step!"

It was going to be a long, long wait.

Out of earshot of the people in line, two demons leaned on the wall and observed the queue with amusement.

"I guess they didn't hear about the restructuring, huh."

"Guess not. I'm just glad we got assigned here. It's easy-peasy. All we have to do is watch, they do all the torturing themselves."

"Yeah, who knew we'd have to make a whole new circle for these guys? I guess being rude to people in the service sector is a way bigger problem than it used to be...."