CHAPTER II
“No,” the Devil said. He sat at the heart of the Underworld, gripping the smooth ancient bones that made his throne. His jaw was clenched into a hateful smile. I stood before him, pinned by the twisting blaze in his eyes, too scared to do anything but sweat and tremble.
“But… but…”
“No.”
“We had a deal.” Fury overrode cowardice. I clenched my fists and took a step forward. My new life was too important to let go without a fight. Not even the Devil was going to stand in my way.
“Yes, we did, and I remember it perfectly. You were supposed to take her out on a date. That was the deal we struck.”
“That’s what I did!”
“Taking her out would require setting foot outside of that ragged old shack my daughter calls a house. Not spending half the night watching Netflix, getting drunk on Valhallan mead, and then spending the other half of the night arguing about which fucking Muppet is the best.”
“Fozzie,” I muttered under my breath.
“What was that?” He narrowed his eyes, the fire inside growing brighter.
I gulped and took a step back. “…nothing. And, ok, when you say it like that, sure, it sounds bad. But we also had a really nice dinner. That has to count for something.”
“It was cooked by a dog. A dog. You-”
“Hey, Garmr’s an excellent cook. And I’m not-”
“-might as well have fed my daughter dog food.”
“-letting you weasel out of this on a technicality.”
We spent a moment glaring daggers at each other.
“A technicality? That isn’t a technicality it’s the entire godblessed point. My daughter has shut herself away for long enough. She needs to get out and live a little.” The Devil ran a hand through his perfect hair and sighed. “This is what I get for trusting a Todd. I knew I should have gone with that Johnny kid. He would’ve been able to follow simple instructions.”
“Don’t blame this on me. You,” I jabbed at him with an accusing finger, “never told me that your daughter’s kinda an aggrophobe-”
“Agoraphobe,” the Devil corrected.
“Yeah, that. I did everything I could, but she’s terrified of leaving her house.”
“Bah! My daughter isn’t afraid of anything. She’s just a little shy.”
“You don’t even know her. Orpheus? Seafood? I mean, Jesus Christ-”
The Devil winced.
“-those were your ideas, and she hated them. You couldn’t even tell me one thing she actually liked.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’m too busy running the Underworld to keep up with the fads of youth. Every century it’s something new. Those used to be two of her favorite things, y’know.”
“Yeah, before you ruined them for her with your ridiculous plots to marry her off. I thought my dad was bad, but you-”
“Watch your tone, boy.” The rigid smile tore wider. For a second, his true soul, deep, ancient, malicious, peeked through the fire in his eyes. “I have known and loved my daughter for millennia. And when you are nothing but dust and lost memories I will know and love her still.” The Devil steepled his hands, sinking lower into the throne. “But my darling girl does seem to have a fondness for you, for some unfathomable reason. You get one more chance, son. Don’t waste it.”