"Would you mind opening the blinds a little so I can see the light outside?" he asked

My attention was drawn from the lethal injection I was preparing. "Yes, of course." I replied, softly.

"You remind me so much of my son, Doctor. I only wish I could see him one last time."

I paused, and closed my eyes for a moment before continuing.

"If you are having any doubts about going ahead with this..." I twisted the rod to turn the blinds half way "...you need to tell me now."

He grabbed my arm sternly. "I can't go on living like this, Doc. I don't recognise the person I see in the mirror, I know I'm not all together upstairs."

Like many other patients in this wing, John Kerrington had an advanced form of dementia. The order to end his life had been signed by him two years prior, when he still could tell day from night. As the doctor administering the injection, I was the only person who could delay his death temporarily, and only if I thought he was in emotional distress immediately before administering the injection.

"You seem to be very agitated today... Mr. Kerrington. Are you sure you don't want to wait and..."

"I WANT TO DIE DAMMIT! WHY WONT YOU BASTARDS LET ME DIE?" He shouted in a fit of anger as as he threw a glass of water across the room.

The rules on voluntary euthanasia were clear. Once a form was signed, the patient could reverse their decision at any time but only if they are of sound mind. In reality, Mr. Kerrington had died as soon as he signed that form. I doubt he could possibly remember any of the last twelve attempts I had failed to perform.

"Mr. Kerrington." I said, with trembling lips. Something was different about him today. "You... you are clearly distressed, I must delay this procedure for another month until..."

While I was thinking of the right words to say, he took the syringe I had prepared and jabbed himself in the leg with it.

Shock turned to panic, "No!" I wrestled the syringe from his grip, but he had already injected himself with half of the solution.

He grabbed my hand "Finish what you started, doctor!"

I looked at the cloudy fluid which remained in the syringe. He already gave himself a lethal dose, but if I don't inject him there will be terrible pain.

My eyes started to swell, my vision blurred, "I ... I love you Dad." I pressed the syringe against his wrist, and squeezed out the last drops as his breath finally gave in.

He squeezed my hand and whispered "My son"