[WP] A man takes everything literally, and his job is to determine who needs to be committed to an insane asylum

"Mr. Hudson, I am not insane." "Well, problem solved, than", Hudson replied, banging his open hand against the table and getting up. He offered the lieutenant his hand. "Glad to know you are ok. See you." The lieutenant shook it. "See you." On his way out, the lieutenant rolled his eyes, whispering to the nurse by the door. "Fucking bullshit." "What?" Hudson made way around his table and held the door. "What?" "Did you just say you are fucking bullshit?" "What? No, I mean... It's an expression." "I realize it's an expression. It means to have sex with cow manure. Why would you say that?" "It's just a figure of speech, Jesus." "My name is Hudson, lieutenant. Are you sure you are ok?" "Oh my God... This is --" Hudson shook his head. He whispered at the nurse. "The man seems to think I'm a deity of some sort." "I DON'T THINK YOU ARE A DEITY. I KNOW YOU ARE A DOCTOR. THOSE ARE JUST EXPRESSIONS! WAYS FOR ME TO EXTERNALIZE MY ANGER!" "So you are telling me you are angry..." Hudson had gone back to his chair now, and had his Pad open over his crossed knees. "I'm not -- I -- Ok. Yes. Yes, I am angry." "Why is that?" "Because you are taking everything literally." "What do you mean?" The lieutenant closed his eyes. Took a deep breath. "Like when I said Jesus, you thought I was talking to you." "Who were you talking to, then?" "No one. I was just -" "Talks...to...himself..." Doctor Hudson mumbled as he scribbled on his pad. "OH FUCK YOU!" "Latent homosexual desires...." Hudson continued, in a low whisper. "I don't... Not fuck you specifically. Fuck everything. It's an express --" "...promiscuity..." "I NOT SAYING I WILL FUCK EVERYTHING, I'M SAYING FUCK EVERYTHING. CAN YOU PLEASE TRY TO LISTEN?" Dr. Hudson raised his eyes from the pad. "Yes?" "I am not crazy, Dr. Hudson. I swear to God." Hudson's eyebrows got up, like he had been taken aback by this new piece of information. "You're not?" "No. I am not." Hudson smiled. "Well, problem solved, then! Let me show you to the door." Hudson make way around the table (again) and opened the door for the lieutenant. "Thanks for coming." "Don't mention." "I already did." "What?" "Mention it." "All right." "It is." The lieutenant sighed. "Whatever." "What?" "Nothing. I said whatever. See you." "I see you, too." "OH GO FUCK YOURSELF, DR. HUDSON. EAT A THOUSAND BRICKS, SHIT THEM OUT YOUR ASS THEN MAKE A HOUSE OUT OF THEM AND STUFF THE WHOLE HOUSE UP YOUR ASS AGAIN. YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE." Dr Hudson closed the door again and made way to the desk. He sat down and arranged his glasses on his nose. "Could you sit back down for a second, lieutenant?" "Fuck my life." The lieutenant whispered, sitting back down. Hudson raised his eyebrow.

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