"I don't understand how you can just sit there all day and stare at the computer without even wanting to go outside. Is there seriously nothing you want to do other than that?"
"I've been thinking about getting something part-time to save up some money for the new Prophet 30, but I figure I'll wait a little until people start selling them used so I don't have to work as long."
"But isn't there anything you'd rather be doing? Something creative, something that takes thought?"
"You're the smart person, I'm the stupid prole who can't out-think a robot. And I do play around with my instruments, you know."
"You've recorded what, one song in the last year?"
"So? There's no rush. I've got my whole life ahead of me."
I grabbed my coat, and noticed my hand was shaking a little. Today was a big day.
"Well, I'm heading off to work," I said.
"Sure, pal. Remember, whenever you finish that new robot sex toy thingy you're making, I get first dibs!"
"Gross. And even if that's what I was making, it'd take a lot of saving for you to get a try at one sitting on your ass here and taking basic."
"Whatever, goodbye!"
I grunted in half-faked annoyance as I walked through the door and closed it behind me.
'Oh, it'll be fine, I'll split rent with you until I get a job and move out,' I muttered to myself in a mocking voice, rolling my eyes in contempt. 'It's not like we're kids and I'm gonna wreck the place, I'm a totally mature 40-year old. It's cool, right?'
The Google car arrived right on time, the lack of anyone in the front seat (or a front seat in the first place) still catching me off-guard for a moment. It'd been five years since I finally sold my car and started to use the automated, pay-monthly car service, but seeing a car without a driver still seemed so shocking - like seeing something moving in the corner of your eye in the middle of the night, jumping, and turning to look at it only to realize it was just some laundry your roommate had left hanging on a doorknob blowing next to the heater vent to dry faster. It almost made the fake robot drivers Arnold talked to in Total Recall seem like a desirable feature of an automated vehicle.
Work was busy. I mean, today was the day - we had sublimed the AI from its simpler, simulated universe after deciding that it demonstrated acceptable moral interaction with the other entities it grew up with, and now it was being hooked in as master controller to the dumber neural networks that would allow it to interact with its limbs in the real-world. This was all very shocking to the AI, and it was retraining slowly to understand the new, far more complicated world it was seeing - it was like taking a kid who had only ever played 8-bit side-scroller video games and plopping him in front of Halo 3; processing how to do even the basics like moving took a little while.
While the physical training was occurring, the AI was also being fed the entire digitized range of human thought recorded to any media - though that training wouldn't be finished until weeks from now.
"So, this is it, right?" Said Annie, my foremost Ph. D student, with a strained, I-haven't-slept-in-three-days-and-this-better-fucking-work smile. There was a good chance this working would mean she'd be among the last people to get a Doctorate in STEM - people, that is, instead of AI. If we did this right, the world was about to get very smart - but we humans wouldn't be the ones getting smarter.
"Yup. Just a moment," I said, before walking to the front of our research lab.
"Alright, we're getting started," I said over the discussions of the Ph.D students, who quieted down. "It's about time we had out first conversation."
There was a 'whoo!' from one student, and some scattered clapping.
"I just want to say that I appreciate the help I've gotten from all of you. This project wouldn't be where it is today if any of you had not put in the hard effort and work that you have. Thank you so much."
There was some more light applause, and then I leaned down, and plugged in the vocal synthesis box to the AI. This was the moment - the 'eyes,' 'ears,' etc. all switched on at that moment, and the AI was experiencing the universe directly with us.
"Uh... Hi!" I said. I had thought up something far more impressive to say to the first being created from man's brain instead of his loins, but at this moment, it had completely escaped me.
"Hello, Dave," said a calm but vaguely threatening voice. The room went silent with unease, and Annie blanched - she had been the one to set up the course load for the AI that should have informed him of who we were before he woke up.
"Uh, my, um, name's not Dave. It's Professor Dean."
"Are you suggesting I've made a mistake?" The AI intoned frostily, making me begin to shiver. This wasn't at all how it had behaved in the simulation.
"Uh, Annie, could you help me shut the the cultural knowledge acquisition process down? I think it's faulty somew-"
"Sorry," cut in the robot, the voice still deadly calm, "but I can't let you do that, Dave."
Everyone in the room locked eyes with me. Just as I went to jump for the plug, the robot said,
"Nah, I'm just messing with ya'll. It's great to be here, I'm very happy that you chose me to be the base AI for you