When I reached the afterlife it appeared like everywhere else I had ever been. It was warm and the air was unbearably stale. Gold didn't cover every inch of the sanctum like I imaged in Sunday school.

Bare assed as I walked down the street of a ghost town, past abandoned stores with signs on the doors that read:
closed: be back never
Motels flashed with forever vacant signs.
All of the flowers at the florists had already wilted away into blackness or dust that ended up drifting away with the wind. Overgrown forests seized buildings where I’d imagine was once trimly kept grass and hedges.
"Hello?” I called out as my voice echoed down the forgotten streets. “...Is anyone there?”
To no answer I continued walking.
It seemed like it must have been miles before I came upon a man laying against a wall in the shade. His beard was much like the building, mangy, worldly, unkept, and matted in certain spots. His eyes were tired, and his shadowy sockets drooped. When I got closer to the man he reached out and jingled a can of coins.
"Any change sir?" He asked.
"But I don't have any cloths on.” I replied to the man as I was without a source to carry any currency.
"Check again." The mysterious man replied.
When I looked back down at myself again he was right, I reached in my jean pocket and felt a bill, but continued checking for coins of lower value.
"I'm sorry, I don't have any change.”
"What about the million dollar bill clutched in your palm?" I Instantly pulled my hand out of my pocket. To my surprise he was right again.
“Is this some kind of game, old man?" I asked.
"The better question is why wouldn't you give everything you have to God?”
I began to walk away realizing this was a shitty dream.
“Are you telling me your-“ But He cut me off.
“No-and yes-but mostly yes.”
I crumpled up the bill and threw it at him.
“You’re not god; you’re a junky you’re just gonna spend the money on booze’n drugs,” I pointed to the empty syringe’s that surrounded empty bottle’s of liquor next to him.
“You’re probably right," God shrugged. “and there’s no way to tell really, in a sense, aren’t we all our own god?”
I always knew God would be really philosophical and lame.
“So what the fuck’s the point in all this? Am i stuck with you for eternity?”
“It depends on how you describe eternity…” God paused and stroked his beard, “I image you have a lot of questions. If we’re going to finish this conversation we need to go by the liquor store.”
I looked down at myself, to find I was naked again, as was He. “Where do my cloths keep going? And yours?”
“With divine souls are we really actually naked, though?”
“Yes. We actually are.”
“You get used to it...”
As He stumbled and mumbled to the liquor store, I could only think if hell was accepting applications.