"Gimme sum o dat pussy", my friend Greg blurted out as we all started laughing our asses off. I spilled diet coke on my bed and didn't even care. Our stomachs hurt and our tear glands were spent by the time we started to stop laughing...

"Wait, what's it doing?" said Chris, as he pointed at the voice activated AI powered autonomous 3d printer.

"Holy shit, I think it's actually making a vagina?!" We all looked at each other... This thing had better to be able to make 3 more fake vaginas. This distraction was quickly quelled by the now horrific visage materializing in front of their faces.

The AI took its instructions quite literally, but instead of printing merely a non-sentient garden variety docile vagina, it decided to make it a true life form and gave it intelligence, motility, and a will to live.

As the boys' faces drew closer to the first "real" vagina they had ever seen, they momentarily did not notice it growing tentacles and long stocks dotted with two small eyeballs. For these extremeties began growing from the back of the vagina, while they boys were all standing on the business end. The first thing they actually saw was the teeth.

Rows of rat-like yellow teeth pierced through the walls of the faux-gina as the 3d printer vented excess pressure to signal the completion of its task. Dozens of foot-long tentacles now whipped around like angry horsehair worms on the desk as the screaming boys piled against each other to open the door.

The she-beast began using its sticky fish-scented tentacles to roll itself across the floor, like one of those stick things you put on a window except sideways and disturbingly fast.

"Why do you even have this in your house!" Shawn screamed as the others lost their collective grip on his hand as his body was yanked violently back into the now seven foot tall gaping maw of the malevolent snatch.

Got Milk?

...well, I guess that's as good a superbowl commercial as any.