3. [WP] Your pants are sentient and they are not happy with what you've been up to.

[WP] Your pants are sentient and they are not happy with what you've been up to.

"I need a little time to air out, Steve. I'm just... getting really burdened here." "One more day, pants. I will do laundry tomorrow, I promise!" "What's the point?... I need a break and you're taking me out all day... walking everywhere in me- Do you feel how stretched I am right now? Do you feel it? My elastic is literally sagging. The walking and the jogging and- and the sitting, I don't mind the sitting. Snuggling up with you... Nice and cozy..." "...I think I'll wear my jeans today." "Steve, don't wear the jeans. Seriously, I think the jeans have an STD." "That's... that's actually me." "..." "I'm getting treated!" "You need to do your laundry." "I didn't know she had-" "That's what I heard last week, while I was crumpled up on the floor?! Christ, how many times have you worn me since then?!... No wonder her pants were so bitchy. I bet they were itchy... and slimy..." "...You talked with her pants?... Did you get her name?" "Steve! Focus! I'm in peril here!" "Listen, pants. Despite the cross-contamination issue here, I actually liked her-" "Listen, pal. I'm crotch-deep in your mistakes here. I... I need more than air. I need heat treatment! Serious antimicrobial suds! Would it kill you to run an iron across me every now and then?!" "Tomorrow, I swear." "Don't expect me to cradle your balls today." "You- you do that?" "I make sure they are comfortable, Steve, because I care about you." "I thought you were just designed really well." "I am a superior cut, if that's what you mean. Stitched by the finest Vietnamese woman in the factory, if I say so myself. My fiber is particularly soft and my weave-" "It's great, I've noticed." "Well... it wouldn't hurt to compliment me every now and then, would it?" "You are my favorite pants." "I know. It's the lift I give to your buttocks-" "Oh, god." "I support you, Steve. I give you the best fit I can offer." "Uh... yes, well, thank you, pants." "My name isn't 'pants'." "You have a name?" "It's Paul." "Paul, you're amazing." "I know... Listen, since we're friends and all, I think I should tell you something..." "What, Paul?" "I'm women's pants."

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[SP] No matter how much you drink you can't forget [WP] An adventuring party is hired to collect back taxes of a local dragon [WP] You wake up in the middle of the night with your paralysis demon cowering in the corner of your room, scared to death of whatever stands at the end of your bed. [WP] In a dingy, cyberpunk city, civility is a word missing from almost every gang's vocabulary, except for one. With the trappings of the romanticised mobsters of the 30s, they're equal parts loved and lauded for their strict code of conduct. You play by The Family's rules, or you're outta here. [WP] Turns out everyone's religion is "true," and they go to the afterlife they believe in most. You, an atheist, have just died. And the universe took you at your word when you joked about worshiping the Flying Spaghetti Monster. [WP] "Hey man, seeing ya after 5 years. How's life been?", "Just the same old, pal. Nothing much happened.", "Bro... I see you missing a hand and a leg.. your left eye is glowing green.. and your dog is constantly covered in BLUE flames... How in the world you feel nothing much happened?" [WP] An over-thinking scientist continually devises plans to get the main hero to notice them, though all of their attempts end up misinterpreted as desperate attempts to take over the world [WP] A creature beyond comprehension watches you, your every move is narrated in a calming voice all around you that you can’t pinpoint, and you believe you see cameras right outside your field of vision. [WP] While checking out an abandoned island with your new friends, you decide to look at the local pictures online. The only one nearby is a photo of you and your friends posted a month ago, before any of you even met. [WP] a witch is hired by some troubled parents, to frighten children into getting fit. [WP] "Attention, denizens of the Underworld. One among you tried to blackmail me, stating that unless I did as you wish, you would make public photos of me having a 'fairy princess' tea party with my human goddaughter in the Mortal Realm. I released those pictures for viewing myself this morning." [WP] As a little kid, you liked to pull harmless pranks on the local cryptids. As you grew older you realized the danger of going out into the woods and stopped visiting them. Turns out, the cryptids had fond memories of your antics and want to come and see you again. [WP] You are a supervillain who went undercover as a superhero for jokes, only to discover how corrupt the system is in the hero society. The system is so corrupt that you agree to lead a small group of superheroes to rebel against the unjust hero society. [WP] Everyone in the galactic community had heard the tales of Human endurance, it had been the stuff of story or nightmare in the decades since first contact. But nothing had prepared the Galactic Council for the first time a human representative broke out the Filibuster. [WP] You appear in an infinite white void of a room with nothing more than yourself, and a white piece of paper which reads, “You have been banned from existence.”

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