3. [WP] You and your squad roll up to the target residence, silent as shadows. But ...

[WP] You and your squad roll up to the target residence, silent as shadows. But he's there, waiting, smoking a cigarette in a goddamn bathrobe.

"Jesus... That him?"

"Yeah, stop the car Tim. That's him."

"Is that... a pink bathrobe?"

"Look, we all heard boss say the guy was eccentric. Mack will do the heavy lifting, just grab the bats."

"Yeah, but I mean-"

"Shut it. Both of you, get out and focus on the job. You want to get paid right?"

Car doors slam. Three men emerge from the car.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

"Orders to take you to Tony, that's what you prick."

"Tony? Tony? That's strange, I didn't realize Tony was in the little-bitch market. Look'in at the lot of' you though, I'm willing to believe it."

"Shut the fuck up old man. Either you're coming with us, or I got very specific orders to break your bones until you do."

"Ha, oh you're so tough. I feel like being barked at by a prissy little Chihuahua."

"I take it that's a no?"

"Let me finish smoking first Goodfella, I'll talk to Tony but I just lit this thing."

"Mack, rough him up a bit. Boss said alive, not well."

"What the shit: Mack? Seriously- This big lug's name is Mack? The fuck is this, a Frank Sinatra number?"

"Sorry old man."

"You're sorry? You're sorry?"

"UAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGG-"

"OH JESUS!" "HOLY SHI-"

"See that right there? A waste! That's a waste of a perfectly good cigarette. Mack didn't even enjoy it."

"JESUS CHRIST- MY EYE! OH GOD, MY EYE!"

"Oh shut the hell up ya' big lunk. Christ, now I gotta light another one- you know how expensive these things are nowadays?"

"He just put Mack's eye out Tim. What the fuck? What the FUCK?"

"Tim, get your shit together and go break that guy's knees."

"Seriously? I just seriously fucked up your dude, and you're sending little minion-Timmy over there to try and hit me with a Louisville Slugger?"

"Just hit him Tim."

"I don't know-"

"Fucking GOD Tim, hit him with the fucking bat!"

"BANG"

"AAAGGGGGGGG-"

"Hows the lead taste Timmy?"

"AGGGHGG- BAD! IT TASTES BAD!"

"Heh, yeah I'll bet it does."

"Jesus Christ."

"Oh yeah, hide behind the car door there boss man- that'll surely stop a bullet."

"You had a gun the whole time?"

"What, you think this bathrobe is just for the fun of it? Listen, you take these sorry son's of bitches back to Tony, and you pass him a message for me."

"Fuck you old man!"

"HEY! Hey there boss man, I'm telling you how it's gonna be, unless you'd rather this old man punch a couple holes through that door of yours."

"It's a cadilac."

"You think that matters? Jesus, it's not the 70s anymore punk. Nowadays it's engine block or nothing kid- Honestly. What the fuck has Tony been teaching you?"

"He told me you were a piece of shit."

"Ha... Jesus kid, it's like the taco-bell dog got shoved in a leather jacket. Listen: Tell Tony I don't have what he's looking for, and if he comes looking for me again he's gonna regret it."

"We've got a lot of people you crusty piece of shit. You fucked up. You fucked up bad."

"Yeah, well this piece of shit is going back inside to smoke a bowl. Get your idiots off my fucking lawn"

/r/WritingPrompts Thread
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[SP] No matter how much you drink you can't forget [WP] An adventuring party is hired to collect back taxes of a local dragon [WP] You wake up in the middle of the night with your paralysis demon cowering in the corner of your room, scared to death of whatever stands at the end of your bed. [WP] In a dingy, cyberpunk city, civility is a word missing from almost every gang's vocabulary, except for one. With the trappings of the romanticised mobsters of the 30s, they're equal parts loved and lauded for their strict code of conduct. You play by The Family's rules, or you're outta here. [WP] Turns out everyone's religion is "true," and they go to the afterlife they believe in most. You, an atheist, have just died. And the universe took you at your word when you joked about worshiping the Flying Spaghetti Monster. [WP] "Hey man, seeing ya after 5 years. How's life been?", "Just the same old, pal. Nothing much happened.", "Bro... I see you missing a hand and a leg.. your left eye is glowing green.. and your dog is constantly covered in BLUE flames... How in the world you feel nothing much happened?" [WP] An over-thinking scientist continually devises plans to get the main hero to notice them, though all of their attempts end up misinterpreted as desperate attempts to take over the world [WP] A creature beyond comprehension watches you, your every move is narrated in a calming voice all around you that you can’t pinpoint, and you believe you see cameras right outside your field of vision. [WP] While checking out an abandoned island with your new friends, you decide to look at the local pictures online. The only one nearby is a photo of you and your friends posted a month ago, before any of you even met. [WP] a witch is hired by some troubled parents, to frighten children into getting fit. [WP] "Attention, denizens of the Underworld. One among you tried to blackmail me, stating that unless I did as you wish, you would make public photos of me having a 'fairy princess' tea party with my human goddaughter in the Mortal Realm. I released those pictures for viewing myself this morning." [WP] As a little kid, you liked to pull harmless pranks on the local cryptids. As you grew older you realized the danger of going out into the woods and stopped visiting them. Turns out, the cryptids had fond memories of your antics and want to come and see you again. [WP] You are a supervillain who went undercover as a superhero for jokes, only to discover how corrupt the system is in the hero society. The system is so corrupt that you agree to lead a small group of superheroes to rebel against the unjust hero society. [WP] Everyone in the galactic community had heard the tales of Human endurance, it had been the stuff of story or nightmare in the decades since first contact. But nothing had prepared the Galactic Council for the first time a human representative broke out the Filibuster. [WP] You appear in an infinite white void of a room with nothing more than yourself, and a white piece of paper which reads, “You have been banned from existence.”

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