3. [WP] You're murdered in cold blood and Death comes to take you. Problem is, it c...

[WP] You're murdered in cold blood and Death comes to take you. Problem is, it can't. Now Death is absolutely terrified of you, maybe it thinks you want its job, but you're just some guy, right?

By the end of the text I realised that I am the one who's supposed to have been murdered in cold blood. Nice blunder. Still decided to submit it tho, maybe somebody will still like it.

My hands slide off Dave's throat, wrists still pulsing from the adrenaline rush. I was panting like a wild dog. "Fucking prick," I say while gasping for breath. I lift his dead body and throw it out the window. "You just had to eat all of the yoghurt, huh?"

I stomp towards the wardrobe and change into something more comfortable. An hour later there I am, sitting by my laptop and browsing /r/writingprompts. I'm skimming through whatever people came up with, when suddenly I hear a knock at the door.

I tilt my head back - I was just reading the best story ever - and sigh out loud. "Who the fuck is it?" I yell.

"Mhtul G'zish" a stream of hundreds of voices of lost souls reply. Pissed as I am I storm off to open the door and what do I see? Some weird ass motherfucker in a black cloak.

"What'd ya want?" I snap at him. "Followeth me," Mhthuwhatever replies under his breath.

"Whatever, dude." I go back inside and this guy, this guy just follows me. "Yo, dude" I start him off. I take a deep breath and remember how I had promised my mum to try and control my anger issues and not lash out at strangers and shit. I force a smile up my cheeks and politely ask: "Would you like something, guest?"

"Thy soul, mortal," he says with the voice a hundred demons.

I turn around and just stare. Just stare at this maximum overflow of autism. And what does this guy do? He just stands there like owns the fucking place. His bony long arms are covered in dark cloth, accentuating how this fucker does definitely not lift. He holds a scythe in his hands and just stares around the room I guess.

Black steam rises from the bottom of his black robe, etching away at my pet rabbit's cage. Just, you know, melting the bars and letting that little manic shitter run around, like whatever. And what does Mr.Rabbit do first, of course? Fuck up my mac's charger. That shit is expensive as fuck, let me tell you that.

I grab that bloody sonova by its ears and twist its neck. "Good job," I say to that cloaked asshat. "You just killed Mr.Rabbit."

"Dude," the cloaked guy says in shock. "You got issues. I definitely did not kill Mr.Rabbit"

"How dare you call him by his name right after you killed him?" I snap at that fucker. "You didn't even know him!"

Suddenly, the voices start talking to one another as this weird guy scratches his head. "I think I got the door wrong," he says and makes his way for the exit. I lunge ahead of him and shut the door in front of him.

"Yo." I look at him, he's already visibly anxious. "You're dead."

He just stands there, nervously shifting his weight from one leg to another like a little brat who got caught stealing from the cookie jar.

"You killed Mr.Rabbit," I remind him again.

"C'mon steve, let's get the fuck outta here," a voice in him says to another.

"I wouldn't be a friend if I didn't avenge him now. Would I?"

"Thou hast just killed two innocents, mortal, why-"

"Don't talk to me like a retard."

"Okay, sorry, but, why do you, like, kill people all the time?"

"I might just like it, mate. What, you got a problem with that?"

He levitates around my room and talks to himself. I don't mind, I go the kitchen and browse through my collection of kitchen knives.

"All right," he finally says, concluding his thoughts. "You can have it."

I'm casually walking back to him with a nice sharp knife in my hand. "Seriously, just, have it if that is what your soul is longing for." I just start stabbing - he just flies around trying to dodge me.

"Is it not what you yearn for?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I say as I slice through the air while trying to cut a motherfucker up. "I just want to get it over with you already." "You do not want to be death?" he asks in surprise. "What? No?! Oh you thought that I...?" "Yeah, aha, I I stop. He stops. We look at each other and laugh.

I still killed him though.

ps. forgive faulty grammar for I am not a native speaker :)

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[SP] No matter how much you drink you can't forget [WP] An adventuring party is hired to collect back taxes of a local dragon [WP] You wake up in the middle of the night with your paralysis demon cowering in the corner of your room, scared to death of whatever stands at the end of your bed. [WP] In a dingy, cyberpunk city, civility is a word missing from almost every gang's vocabulary, except for one. With the trappings of the romanticised mobsters of the 30s, they're equal parts loved and lauded for their strict code of conduct. You play by The Family's rules, or you're outta here. [WP] Turns out everyone's religion is "true," and they go to the afterlife they believe in most. You, an atheist, have just died. And the universe took you at your word when you joked about worshiping the Flying Spaghetti Monster. [WP] "Hey man, seeing ya after 5 years. How's life been?", "Just the same old, pal. Nothing much happened.", "Bro... I see you missing a hand and a leg.. your left eye is glowing green.. and your dog is constantly covered in BLUE flames... How in the world you feel nothing much happened?" [WP] An over-thinking scientist continually devises plans to get the main hero to notice them, though all of their attempts end up misinterpreted as desperate attempts to take over the world [WP] A creature beyond comprehension watches you, your every move is narrated in a calming voice all around you that you can’t pinpoint, and you believe you see cameras right outside your field of vision. [WP] While checking out an abandoned island with your new friends, you decide to look at the local pictures online. The only one nearby is a photo of you and your friends posted a month ago, before any of you even met. [WP] a witch is hired by some troubled parents, to frighten children into getting fit. [WP] "Attention, denizens of the Underworld. One among you tried to blackmail me, stating that unless I did as you wish, you would make public photos of me having a 'fairy princess' tea party with my human goddaughter in the Mortal Realm. I released those pictures for viewing myself this morning." [WP] As a little kid, you liked to pull harmless pranks on the local cryptids. As you grew older you realized the danger of going out into the woods and stopped visiting them. Turns out, the cryptids had fond memories of your antics and want to come and see you again. [WP] You are a supervillain who went undercover as a superhero for jokes, only to discover how corrupt the system is in the hero society. The system is so corrupt that you agree to lead a small group of superheroes to rebel against the unjust hero society. [WP] Everyone in the galactic community had heard the tales of Human endurance, it had been the stuff of story or nightmare in the decades since first contact. But nothing had prepared the Galactic Council for the first time a human representative broke out the Filibuster. [WP] You appear in an infinite white void of a room with nothing more than yourself, and a white piece of paper which reads, “You have been banned from existence.”

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