Hey man.

I've read some of the comments and I'm going to approach this from another angle.

First, I'm assuming you're in the US, or else a lot of this comment may not be relevant.

Second... have you ever talked to, or considered talking to a psychiatrist? Or even just a therapist?

I ask because... well, you actually sound like the kind of person who would legitimately get a script for Xanax. I've had it prescribed legitimately a few times. I found that I didn't really trust myself not to mis-use xanax so it was best if I switched to something else for the anxiety, but, uh... you should really consider talking to a psychiatrist.

You sound like you have grounds for some kind of anxiety med, and chances are good that if xanax gives you legitimate benefits, some other anti-anxiety med would probably help just as much. I switched most recently to buspirone, and it knocks out about 80% of my anxiety.

It's not the same kind of "active" effect you feel from xanax, you can't really tell you're on anything, except that the anxiety is mostly gone. You don't get any kind of high from it that I know of.

I know, talking to a shrink can be scary as fuck if you have actual problems and aren't just trying to score pills, but if you ease your way into things and find a doctor who "feels right" to you, then you'll be golden.

I suggest all this because honestly dude, if you actually need this shit, you should get a fucking prescription instead of buying from junkies and pushers. It's stupid to pay for drugs that might not even be what you wanted if you can get them legitimately.