Wow brother I’m so sorry that this happened to u. It’s crazy that I read this one as I was scrolling thru tonight because almost verbatim u sound exactly the same as I did when I first found out about my wife. Ppl had told me she was but I didn’t believe till proof then she only admitted to what there was proof of. Like you there were no confessions. Like u I had always told her that cheating I would be done no questions. But when actually faced w that decision i too thought it better for my kids to stay w my wife of ten years that I loved her and wanted to fix this and forgive her. I didn’t k how to trust her but we’ll figure it out. She seemed remorseful and willing to work on it at first or I thought. I had no one to really talk to about it I couldn’t tell family too embarrassed to tell friends couldn’t talk about it w her it always ended bad. I found out why later is bc she was hiding so so much more. She went on w her affair and others. Almost four years of lying, only admitting when faced with hard proof never a confession making it really impossible to trust anything she says. I can respect a confession but getting caught is different. It all almost buried me. Letting myself get trampled on like that beat down taken for granted lied to betrayed like that over and over. I was upset or angry or depressed all the time making me into a person and worst of all a father that I didn’t recognize or want to be. Staying ended up doing far more damage for me and my kids than if I had stood up for myself in the beginning. I’m not saying this is what will happen to you by any means. I am saying at least the first part of my story is eerily similar the words u wrote are ones I’ve said and thought almost to a t. And I am saying that it’s only you who will k what is right for you. It didn’t snd wouldn’t have mattered what anyone said to me in the beginning I had to find out my answers for myself I took my vows seriously and wouldn’t have bn able to live w myself had I not at least tried but finding those answers and all the things that happened have changed me permanently. I truly wish you luck on making your decision and hope u find your peace and happiness again no matter what u decide. My advice would be do not hold anything back do not hold it in bc that will eat you alive