There's so much wrong with this. First you were an ass to pursue someone from work, her. You manipulated the schedule so you and she could work together. That stalkery as fuck. Of course she was going "to fall in love with you", she was going to be homeless otherwise. Her boyfriend was probably a good guy, but she had mental health issues that she was refusing to treat or at least address. So she couldn't commit, was a great manipulator and held zero accountability for her actions. I am sorry for the loss of your children. She's a piece of shit for blaming her mental illness for her decisions. It's a bull shit excuse. Why you would think that BDSM was a great alternative to therapy and medication, no idea what y'all were thinking. Do better. Now that you and she have a child together, don't fuck her up. Get yourself in therapy and learn to be a good dad.