I am not quite doing well. Struggling. Aware of the struggle. Dealing with some feelings that surfaced when I was doing some private soul searching. I've concluded that I'm someone who wears her fat as armor. This is probably a huge factor contributing to my current self sabatoge. I think it's going to be OK, because I don't want the luxury of imaging myself gaining weight again and getting put on heart medication. I'm just struggling. No details, because I don't want to harm anyone's progress. Been around 100 carbs a day when my plan is 20 and under. I know my body needs the healing and the weight loss. For my heart. My heart is a muscle in my body. It is the hope in my children's eyes, the love in my husband's eyes that never judge me. I have so much to live for, and it's not their fault I'm messed up in the head. Therapy can't help me. I need to figure things out. Not sure why I'm sharing this. I guess I want to let others know who are quietly struggling that they are not alone. Not much else to say right now. Sorry if I seem dramatic. Bah.