The first time you're introduced to 'painful' things during intercourse it definitely leaves you feeling exposed. Whether that be something mild, like a hair pull, or something more intense, like a choke of some sort- it's a new experience and definitely takes some getting used too. That's totally normal to be confused after because you're learning new things your body likes!

In my past experiences, nothing too intense was ever introduced during the first time with a new partner. But this is where personal preferences come in and hair pulling/biting/spanking have always been something I like and don't consider too painful. Maybe this is how he feels too? Not sure on that, you'd have to talk to him about it. It's totally normal for that to be normal for one person but than totally not for another. If you found it too intense by all means tell him that!

Personally I wouldn't feel comfortable with a new partner doing something like choking me- but I would be okay with biting/spanking/hair pulling. It's all about your own limit and it definitely takes time to learn that limit. If you feel comfortable with this guy and you do end up having sex again talk to him about it! Say you haven't experienced this side of sex and you're interested but would like to take it slow. When it comes to experimenting with rough sex my one solid piece of advice is to go slowly. You have to trust your partner. My partner and I have been together for 3 years at this point and I trust him and feel safe with him. That's something you need for rough sex, I think.

Take baby steps. Especially seeing as this is a new partner! Rough sex is great, it can leave me literally sore for 3 days, and I'm usually pretty exhausted after. If you see him again and start to experiment- create a safe word. Like a colour, it sounds silly but it gets the point across and means stop.

Take it slow, experiment, keep an open mind, and don't do anything you don't want to do! Good luck :)