again you misread, she finally broke it off with him several months ago...she has not talked to him since, she repeatedly says that everything with him was a massive mistake. Their breakoff was complete and she wont give him the time of day anymore, in case my post was unclear let me give you the timeline in point form:

• she dates him, he makes her miserable but she doesn't blame him for it though she eventually ends it
• her and I start seeing each-other, she keeps talking to him as a friend and I am ok with this, she is completely transparent on it (this girl couldnt lie to save her life). At this point I didnt really know what he had done to her previously so I was ok with it.
• he comes to visit as a friend, pulls a shitty sob story on why things used to be so bad between them completely dupes her...and maybe in her head that relationship wasn't completely over yet i dunno, anyway I lose her
• he scales up the emotional and mental abuse quickly, I as a friend do my best to hold her together through this and help her see what he is doing to her.
• she eventually tries to break it off, he breaks down cries asks for another chance and she gives him 1 more
• after a bit longer it is clear he is not changing and she shuts down for a bit, after a bit of silence she cuts him off 100% and starts talking to me again
• since then we have been growing closer together but after what her ex did to her she is terrified of making the wrong decision again so she has been sitting on the fence.
• suddenly after a few really good days between us she drops off the map

paraphrased and skipped some minor stuff but that's the jist of it