Lots of hate here for guys who propose without spelling every little detail out with the girl. You tried your best, you loved her and showed a serious commitment and willingness to move forward into the future with her. Instead of the love and happiness you were expecting, you got cold logic, and some hints that, if you read between the lines, is very alarming about her mindset.

She doesnt mind ending up alone? Even after 3 years, she doesnt see a future with you, she still considers it equally possible to be alone. thats a huge red flag, not about you or your actions, but the way she views things, and you. This whole time you were seeing the growth and unity, but she just considers it fun. She still does not take your relationship seriously.

Most of her points are very valid. Talking about the future is very important, living together is very important, seeing how you two handle fights and conflict is important. However, isnt that something she should be talking about as 'needs to be addressed' after she says yes, confirming the love she has for you.

It sounds like she is putting it all on you, and a lot of the advice is blaming you for not going through all this. How dare you propose without discussing everything first! Well what has she been doing for the last 3 years? Why hasnt she tried to bring up these subjects before? You may be in honeymoon phase, but after 3 years, I think its just your nature to be positive and upbeat. Her trivialization of your relationship, given the circumstances, shouldnt make you want to double down and work harder to make her happy. You should step back and really think about her nature as a person. Its not that she is bad, but she sounds nihilistic. She expects to be alone if she hadnt met you?

I think you just found out, that after 3 great years, that she doesnt really love you. you would not be her lover/husband but a bookmark/husband. If she hadnt met you, maybe she would meet someone else. shrug She sounds so indifferent in this one response that i wonder if she is really capable of loving you the way you want. Its not that she doesnt care for you, but she does not love you. That seems obvious.

If she was even half as 'in love' as you are, i would have expected a yes. Sure she brings up all these things as concerns, but still, she should be happy that she is being proposed too and accept. 3 years is not a short amount of time, and you are both in mid 20's? you guys are at the ideal age to marry and settle down.

Maybe she doesnt know what she wants, but that is an answer in itself. She doesnt see herself married to you, and maybe she never will.

You really need to take some space and consider this. Good luck.