Wooowie. I can't even imagine what you're going through :-/

So I'm going to try to offer you a bit of perspective from your (ex.... most likely... sorry) girlfriend's side HOWEVER the way she is handling it is pretty inexcusable. So don't take this as me defending her... just hopefully able to give you a bit of something to help ease the pain?

My fiance has a terminal illness that involves daily struggles and regular hospital stays. He developed the symptoms during our relationship and that transition nearly destroyed us. It's really, incredibly hard to watch your lover change so drastically. There's a ton of stress, guilt, conflicting feelings etc. Both partners have to essentially be willing to entirely rebuild the relationship from the ground up.

A week goes by, she's still never come back to see me, although we still talk every day. I tell her I understand how hard this might be for her, and that she can talk to me. She says it is very hard, but then switched the subject. I didn't want to push it, so I dropped it.

I think this is where she checked out. It is really easy to pretend like things in the relationship are "normal" when you're just texting/ talking. It's much harder to ignore the reality of the drastic change when you are actually sitting next to your lover in a hospital bed.

I would wager good money that guilt over feeling overwhelmed/checked out is what has lead her to avoid actually having a conversation with you. That is fucked up, and not fair to you because you certainly have enough to deal with right now. But hopefully this can help you with letting go a bit. She 100% should have had the heart to have a real conversation with you.

My advice.... it sounds like you have supportive friends and family around you. Lean on them a bit. If you want to try to salvage things with your girlfriend just send her a letter/ message through whatever means you feel best that you are going to take a step (or huge leap.... huge leap maybe) back, emotionally, to focus on your own healing right now. That you love and appreciate all she's done for you but you feel (whatever you're feeling about you guys). Basically give her permission to go, and give yourself permission to focus on healing yourself emotionally and physically. That will alleviate the pressure for both of you. You guys may not come back from this, and it really sounds unlikely that you will. Even if she comes back around you may not be able to trust her again. You guys basically need to rebuild your entire relationship from the ground up to make it work.... and that's really really hard.

If you want to talk more on this I'm happy to PM with you.