I feel as though your family honor I'd being used against you. I may be completely wrong, but is there some kind of dishonor in brining a person who provides no support into your home and is living off others? Your mother doesn't seem to really respect you or the whole traditional family thing. She uses it as a tool to manipulate you into giving her what she wants. I do not think you should spend almost all your liquid cash on this wedding. You had to fight to put yourself through school, struggling the whole time to get the job you have and earn the money you make. Something I learned long ago was if you can't afford it, don't buy it. Your sister doesn't need a $30,000 wedding. I just don't think you have been treated fairly. Everyone suffered the loss of your father and mourned. Not just your mother. And it seems as though you were essentially the emotional punching bag and now you are an on call atm. Also if she wasn't spending the $800.00 you so graciously give her every two weeks on luxurious things, she could have been saving for the wedding. Moral is. Do not use your bulk liquid savings on this. Do not pay that much towards it, maybe nothing at all (not sure how your relationship with your sister is). You never know what the future could bring.