Everyone’s An Asshole Here (for different reasons)

You’re 100% in the right to feel hurt and alienated by your MIL’s attitude. However....

Your MIL is an asshole for saying she’s not going to make a quilt for your family based on the members of your family. You asked, she lied, you asked again, she told you with contempt about how she felt your little family wasn’t good enough. That’s messed up of her.

But... You’re an asshole for demanding someone to make you a quilt. Hands down. She doesn’t owe you anything. You can feel sad she doesn’t consider your family a real family, but you don’t have the right to feel entitled to a gift even if you did have human kids.

Your SIL’s an asshole for awkwardly putting herself in the middle of it. She was probably right to call you and tell at you for disrespecting her mother, I would do that even if I didn’t agree with my mom.

Your husbands an asshole for staying by your side and then skirting out of the way when your sister comes into the picture. But he might have the right idea to just ignore the family drama until it blows over.