ESH, but is human and this is a really difficult scenario - give me a chance to justify..

Carol probably told you because she thought the comment was disgusting. Hurtful, but I can see why she'd tell you

Alessia likely said it because she still can't believe what your husband did and is genuinely scared that this won't work and she'll be hurt like you were. She made a dumb choice, but this is a friend of 15 years hopped up on hormones and desperation. I would want Carol to tell me if A talks crap about you or 1x thing.

OP was hurt and lashed out. Cancelling the check was harsh and you may even have some legal fallout, but they did this to themselves.

Keep us updated. Way to be an amazing human who would give so generously.

I'm sure there will very quickly