Not going to give a judgement but from what I'm seeing, you guys a communication problem, more than anything. For example, you both have an issue with money but it has manifested in different ways: her being frugal and you needing to maintain an image of wealth. But neither of you has sat down and TALKED about this and where it comes from (and I can tell you that race definitely has a hand here).

And with everything else, I think you do love her BUT you don't see her and her personhood as much as you think you do. Therefore you don't respect her or her views (and more importantly, where they come from) as much as you think you do. There's a long and difficult conversation that the two of you need to have if there's any chance of moving forward successfully. For example, there's a lot of stuff concerning race that she probably never tells you because she might feel dismissed. I've seen this issue between Black and Asian people in particular, because racial dynamics are so nuanced between us. So you'll need to create the safe space to talk about these things. But you'll also need to explain things from your perspective too. All this moving issue has done is highlight the cracks in your relationship that the two of you need to work on and fix. And honestly, I think you can. Best of luck!