The commenter was extremely personal to me when she really doesn't know anything about where I'm coming from, or the fact that I survived an abusive relationship and can distinguish warranted reaction from impending abuse. We are all allowed emotional responses; they don't have to be good and even if they're not that doesn't make the person automatically abusive. It is hard enough to ask for help when you're in one without everyone getting hysterical at the slightest sign- all that does is make it harder for you as the one asking for help to believe you will be taken seriously. (2nd) OP drastically over-judged the situation in my experienced opinion, and OP's bf is still human and allowed to be disappointed in how OP reacted (my response to her is that she was in the right) without everyone rushing to the conclusion that he's some sort of monster.