side note. I hate the village thing so much. I understand if you have a community of people who want to be involved, nothing wrong with that. but you can't say "it takes a village and that's why I forced this person to babysit my kid. I had kids with the understanding that everyone would help me so I'm going to force them to."

as a person who looks like a girl, I get yelled at in public a lot if children are behaving badly and their parents aren't paying attention. apparently I'm supposed to do something about it, as part of this invisible village of complete strangers, and because I look like a lady, the pressure is even harsher. I'm not watching your kids just because we happen to be occupying the same general area. like I'm not going to watch while someone walks off a cliff but come on.