I do this for my grandparents every day. I enjoy it and I try to help them however I can. That’s my responsibility as a their grandchild.

What I don’t appreciate and will no longer participate in is my parents buying gifts for my grandparents that they will not be able to use or comprehend and then dumping that responsibility off on me by implying that I’m the bad child and my perfectly healthy grandparents might die. If I’m the one fixing things for them wouldn’t I also be the one who knew what they would be able to handle and how much time I have to help them handle it? I also don’t do things for my grandparents when they get mad and shame me for not being available immediately.

The first is reciprocal. The send is being used. There’s a difference.