YTA.

Let me open by saying spitting on someone is actually classed as a physical assault in many places. You could be facing criminal charges and honestly I hope you do so you fully comprehend how wrong you are.

I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2017 and I speak from actual experience with PTSD and triggers: YES you absolutely re-traumatized you son-in-law with your verbal attack and the physical assault. You made his safe space unsafe for him. He had a right to feel safe in his own home and your verbal attack and physical assault robbed him of that.

Yes, it was blunt what your son-in-law said but honestly you had it coming. You shovelled down your portion faster than everyone else at the table and then raced away looking for more. When you were advised the only thing left was some dinner rolls, you then became insulting and belligerent as you wanted something else.

A dinner invitation guarantees you one plateful of food nothing more. Basic etiquette is if the serving plates aren’t on the table or if they weren’t refilled there are no seconds being offered. Seconds are not a God given right, they are at the host’s discretion.

You owe a massive apology to your son, his husband and each of their guests for your appalling behaviour … don’t you dare expect or demand an apology in return as you are the only one who was ungracious, rude and then doubled down with an assault. If you don‘t apologize immediately you will be spending holidays alone next year … including Mother’s Day.