The OP doesn't love her daughter. They love the idea of a trophy that reflects back on them: "I feel like I’ve lost my beautiful, healthy daughter."

The fact that she's mewling about "health" now and dismissing her daughter's admission of an eating disorder because it doesn't scan to her narrative of her superior parenting is telling; the OP can't say outright that she thinks her daughter is ugly and unlovable now that she's ugly, so she has to justify why her daughter's choices around her own body are such a threat to the OP.

I believe the OP when she says she's scared. But I don't think she's scared for her daughter's health. I think she's scared that her daughter has seen her for what she is, and that she's lost the power she had over her daughter. Anyone threatened with losing access to their emotional fixes is going to be scares and OP is no exception.

YTA. And get help, OP.