You don't just earn trust once and then that's it, just like romance isn't something you just do to get to marriage and then assume it's there. Trust isn't a one-time set it and forget it. It takes maintenance and is something you spend a lifetime building through a pattern of trustworthy behavior.

If OP's partner is breaking that pattern of normal, trustworthy behavior then OP is absolutely within reason to question it. Should he have been passive aggressive? No definitely not. But she was also needlessly vague, avoidant, and then defensive while STILL not being straightforward and forthcoming.

Everyone saying that "She had every right to ignore him and be passive-aggressive back because he was being passive-aggressive" aren't seeing the hypocrisy there. Especially in a subreddit that shuns any form of "spousal punishment" in the form of stonewalling or passive-aggressiveness.