There are loads of ways to parent. Its controversial, but smacking also works in certain circumstances and if it comes from a place of discipline not parental frustration.
When my little dude turned 2, its like he flipped a switch. We were in way over our heads and everything became a struggle. Hes now 2.5 and we're still in the deep end, but have accepted that its a stage. 90% of what he does, makes no freaking sense... and while you try to throw some teaching in there as well, the rest of the day is simply managing that age.
Toddlers thrive on attention. And there are different levels of attention... A through to Z if you like. Grade A attention is 100% focused on them. A lot of interaction and physical touch. But we all know, we cant be like that all day every day. You may find, the lesser quality of attention they receive, the worse their behaviour might get.
They also want approval. They want you to like them and love them and include them... who wouldn't. At this age, it really is about being creative with including them in everything. Cooking? Set them up a little station too. Cleaning? Let them push the broom around. Praise them massively for every good and helpful thing they do.
And unfortunately, when they spill that drink, or knock stuff over, or do things that inconvenience you or make tasks take longer .... thats just life my friend.
Theyre also learning social skills, and they will grasp them eventually. But in the meantime, its pushing and snatching and yelling. You can curb it as much as you can with things like "its not nice and makes our friends feel sad when you push them like that". (Talking about emotions will help them process what theyre feeling, and will direct them to a healthier outlet)... but every kid goes through it. You might think yours is a terrible monster that youve personally fucked up... but its not the case.
Look, theres a shit tonne of parenting books out there. The important thing is, to relax. Be gentle on yourselves... anyone that is shaming you and telling you youre doing it wrong... doesnt know shit about parenting. Its a tough gig, and we learn as we go. All you can do is try different approaches and see what best reaches your toddler.... and then, read up on some other tips and tricks for the next problem they throw at you :p Your kid will be fine.