Ran into this big time at a church community dinner. I really wanted to help feed hungry people and end the year with an act of generosity, hospitality and good cheer. I spent two weeks buying food, spent over 100 dollars and then days preparing parts of the meal. The day arrived and I arrived at the church kitchen on time to help. I knew the meal started at 5. It was posted. It was on the FB posts. The meal starts at 5. But upon arriving to the church kitchen I realized it was small, like a normal kitchen size. It would take longer to cook the food. The church also had a microwave than barely worked. It took forever. I looked at the clock. I was almost done and it was 4:30 pm. I had a full half hour left. I was just heating up the last bit of sauce for the meal when the altruistic narcissist leader loudly demanded that we start serving food immediately because people were already waiting. But my food wasn't done. The 100 serving, main dish meal that I paid 100 dollars of my own money and made from scratch myself wasn't done. And even though the meal was supposed to start at 5PM the altruistic narcissist demanded food start being served immediately. This meant my food could not be used. That altruistic narcissist was more concerned with feeding someone who couldn't follow time rules, than about someone who spent time and money and effort preparing food. The altruistic narcissist did not care that it hurt my feelings. They ONLY cared about the outsiders, the others, the ones who were there to take, not give.
I ended up with a big bunch of unused food to bring home because people were served LESS early. Makes no sense, but it does to the altruistic narcissist. They didn't give a damn about my sacrifice. They just wanted to make sure the people who showed up a half hour early didn't have to sacrifice a thing.
This ministry keeps burning through volunteers because they have an altruistic narcissist who is doe eyed with helping strangers and oblivious to the sacrifice good people are making.
I think this whole thing is a dysfunction of the christian belief and framework.
End of rant