Maybe.

You don't need to be "normal" I'm not normal, I'm weird as shit and I learned to love it.

The whole thing with women being the "weaker gender" is bullshit. Yes, men are built since the beginning of time to be more physically dominant than women but, women ARE smarter than men and more mentally able. Just a few weeks ago I saw a post in the Europe sub about men and women starting and finishing college. The percentage of women that actually finished college compared to men was astonishing! The closest was 50/50 in Germany (I think) where as everywhere else women dominated. Smarts are way more important than being able to bench press 200lbs!

You might be socially inept and/or have trouble relating to others. By that I mean, when your coach said "I missed you.." you just said "ok" and your mam grilled you for it. you don't see a problem with it because maybe if it was the other way around you wouldn't have a problem with him okaying you? You never cared what people think of you (which is great) but, that doesn't mean other people feel the same. Me for example, I want everyone to like me so if I said I missed someone and they okayed me I'd be real upset.

As for your suicidal thoughts, don't do it. It ruins lives wether someone survives or not, I know from experience.. You should definitely see someone about it to talk it out and yeah it might be hard for you to do that but it's for the good of your own health and that's what matters.

Don't ever feel like you have to be like everyone else. Accept who you are and if you feel like it, you can get help with social skills and such if you want to better understand people but it's completely up to you. It would make things easier for you in the long run, just being able to deal with people better.

I don't mean to offend you in anyway and I'm sorry if I did. I know this is really long even though I didn't talk about everything. I'm not a professional so I can't diagnose you but I can tell there is a lot wrong. Please see someone. I hope everything goes well.

If you wanna talk or anything just pm or reply.