The only time I feel stable is when I'm eating well, the house is cleaned and organized, I have clean clothes, I'm exercising regularly, the dishes aren't piling up, and I'm taking vitamins and drinking a lot of water.

But do you know how fucking impossible it is to keep up with all of that on top of mental illness? At first I can't sleep for an entire night. Because of panic attacks or dissociation or paranoid thoughts or feeling suicidal or whatever BPD is throwing at me. Then I can't function. I forget to eat. I feel like I'll faint if I try to go to the gym. Someone says just clean the house it's not that hard but by then I haven't slept in so many days I'm seeing things out of the corner of my eyes. I'm afraid to even drive my car. I feed myself whatever even if it's junk food because I can't make it to the grocery store. And then someone asks me if I've tried yoga or a keto diet. And I just want to scream.