I agree. I definitely have my own issues. One is constantly thinking about and regretting my past. At this stage in my life I doubt I'll ever be able to get over it. There were other similar women to my wife, but those relationships just didn't work out. All of them were basically "normal" on a social scale though.

I'll always have affection for her, but the problem is that I want a true life partner, especially since it is just us. I do have a large family and there are many family gatherings, plus I catch a movie here and there with my folks. For many years this was enough, but I'm constantly bombarded with stories and photos of relationships where the couples are out just living life doing more than just the basics. My biggest fear is that I end up just fully turning over to being like her. I'll end up stopping our nights out going out to eat. I'll stop going to her family functions like she does mine. I know that is going to cause issues.

Leaving her might not solve my issues. I fully understand I could end up being alone for the rest of my life. That being said, I'd likely date and as sad as it sounds, I'd likely live a life of a mix of ONS and STRs. I don't think counseling will help. While I may think that I'm past whatever, I think as soon as I find out this or that about anyone I were to date, I'd just get depressed comparing it to my lack luster past experiences.