I have had more last names than I care to count. I was adopted, kicked out of that family, married, and divorced. When I got divorced, I had the opportunity to choose my own last name. I almost chose "Thunder," and considered trying to pass my (oh-so-pasty-white) self off as Navajo. My grandmother painted Navajo children when I was little, and took us to the rez a few times. In kindergarten, after meeting my first black person, I came home mad at my mother for not "making me black" because I wanted the black girl's hair. Aside from that, I had always wished I was Navajo, because I really loved my grandmother. And fry bread.

I decided to use my grandmother's last name until I got married the second time. I'm really happy with husband #2, so I think I will probably have his last name for the rest of my life.

None of that has a thing to do with Sz, though.

Finding my identity? I'm 35 and still haven't figured that one out. I'm still not sure what genre of music is my favorite. Thanks to untreated PCOS, my clothing is a uniform of oversized crew neck tee shirts and jeans. Year round. No one wants to see a woman's chest hair, and itchy 5 o'clock shadow is so not worth the effort of shaving. I own one bracelet and two necklaces. My ears are pierced, but I have no earrings. I wear the necklaces and bracelet maybe once every 2-3 years. Makeup never. I just don't feel feminine enough to decorate myself. Still not Sz issues, though.

The one thing I can say is to not let Sz (or any other illness) define you too much. You are more than that. You are more than your disease, more than your gender/sexuality, more than your skin color. You are human. One of over seven billion others. If we can focus more on the things we share than the things which make us different, the entire seven billion population is better for it.

It's easy to judge or feel judged by "others." Not so if we remove ourselves from the very idea of "other."