In my almost five years of using, I've never been a daily user. Usually binged every week for about 3-5 days and then a few days clean. Never had a reliable local source so that helps.

Went to outpatient rehab when my family found out. Then I moved int my own place, had bills to pay and got laid off. Then had a job that did random drug testing monthly. So that all made me clean for months at a time.

Now I'm down to using every few months or so. The longest stretches I've had in five years were two periods of five months. Still, I thought about it nearly every day and was just biding my time until I could use again.

I don't think mentally I'll ever be over it. I'm just getting older now and I guess getting more responsible and almost growing out of it. But I still want it so badly.

But I guess, same as you, I tend to get bored or I get depressed at living paycheck to paycheck or comparing myself to my peers. Or loneliness as well. I guess it's the mental stuff that keeps us using.