Even at age five I knew it was wrong. I never remember NOT being embarrassed by/hating this religion. From the horrible, ugly songs to the repetitive, false lessons, to the shamefully ignorant members... I'm sorry to all of you who actually believed, but even as a pre-school aged young person I knew that anything that segregates, discriminates, and excludes is false and wrong. I simply don't understand how anyone could NOT have seen through what a bullshit farce the whole thing is.

Having said that, I ABSOLUTELY, and shamefully, defended (for years!) this organization (the people are good, the leaders are just confused, etc. etc. etc.), even after I left! I am SOOOOO embarrassed by my ignorance! When people would talk about certain aspects of the church, I would insist that it was misinformation. When I discovered the truth last summer it was nearly an out-of-body experience. I felt sick and so profoundly ashamed. I was flushed in the face and on-edge for about three solid months. I'm still embarrassed. I no longer tell people that I was raised Mormon, because it isn't relevant to their lives, and I refused to be tarnished by this fucked up cult just because my dear mum was too afraid of disappointing her parents to fucking walk away from this shit-show.